Each person has a mother. This may seem like a simplistic statement; however it is true. Some people are raised by the woman that gave birth to them and others are raised by surrogate mothers. No matter which situation describes your experience, one of the most complicated relationships is that between mother and child.
Most of us love our mothers and will do anything to make sure that she is happy. We correlate our mother with warmth, tenderness and understanding. For us mothers day presents are a joy to shop for and there are many ideas available. The first year that I was able to give mothers day presents, bought with my own money, was very special. I still remember asking my father to take me to the mall. I spent hours going from store to store looking at all the possible mothers day presents that I could think of. I finally settled on a bracelet for my mom. I remember her being so excited to open the box and her praise at the selection I had made. Today I know that I could have given her anything and her reaction would have been the same for she was responding to the love that the mother day presents represented rather than the actual gift.
Now that I am married I realize that not everyone has a warm fuzzy relationship with their mother. My husbands mother is a very distant cold woman. She has lived a hard life and loves to play the role of martyr. She is very difficult to buy mothers day presents for because no matter what is purchased she will find some fault with it. If you buy an article of clothing it is the wrong size. Or if it fits it is the wrong color. I have tried buying gift certificates, but then she complains that it is too difficult to get to the mall. I have decided that it is not worth my effort to look for ideal mothers day presents for her. She is the opposite of my mother. With my mom any gift was appreciated and received with the love with which it was given. For my mother-in-law any gift is not going to be appreciated because she likes complaining more than anything else in life. As I have come to terms with these two women I understand why so many therapists have made a living helping people come to terms with their relationships with their mothers. I think it was therapists that came up with the idea of mothers day presents as a form of job security.
2/26/2015
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